We meet again, and we have much to discus. I'll break it down to what's all happened and then into specific people that I need to talk about.
First off, I DID IT!!! I broke up with Justin and it feels great. I need to thank Lauren and Kayla for being there with me, without them in my basement with me supporting me, I don't think I could have handled his crying or threats to kill himself. I'm definitely not going into anything serious for a while.
I'm going to start my "brief" recap with the white out football game. We lost miserably to Kaukauna, so me, Kayla, Dylan, and Lauren went to Perkins when there was like 5 minutes left for breakfast at like 9:30pm. Kayla showed us a picture of this gorgeous boy that she had been talking to from West and we wanted to meet him in person. So after we ate, me and Kayla drove out to the middle of fucking no-where to pick up this guy that neither of us had met in person before. We pick him up and he is hotter than the pictures and we all immediately clicked over music.
We get back to my house, Lauren and Zach showed up, and this kid is hilarious! He's just a ball of happy but he knows how hott he is so his head is pretty big.
We all hung out in my basement until like 12:30am, we were all wide awake so no-one really wanted to go home. Lauren then talked to her folks and said all four of us could sleep over there in her basement because her parents rock.
She and Zach left for her house to pick up the basement a bit and me, Kayla, and Ricky left for Kayla's so she could pick up some stuff for the night. Ricky stayed in the car and me and Kayla went inside to get her things. Little did we know, her parents weren't home like we thought they were. They pulled up (after Ricky jumped up into the passenger seat) and me and Kayla rushed out of the house and I gave Ricky a look that clearly said "duck!!" we knew Kayla's parents would never let her stay over at Lauren's if there was going to be boys there too. Her dad peeked in the car and saw him laying down in the front seat. Me - being as quick-thinking as I am - came up with the excuse that we were dropping him off home before heading to Lauren's - and the reason that he was kicked back in the front seat was because he was tired. They bought it, and we made it to Lauren's a few minutes later.
We ended up watching Back to the Future 2 with Lauren and Zach on the floor and Me, Kayla, and Ricky on the big couch. Ricky was curled up and Kayla was giving him the "Kayla-special-head-massage." After that, Lauren and Zach went into her room to go to bed and the three of us put in Back to the Future 3. Kayla and Ricky curled up together on the floor while I was on the couch.
After the first 10-15 minutes of the movie, they invited me on the floor. I was curled up on Ricky's left, Kayla was on his right. He started massaging my lower back (which I later found out he was doing to Kayla too) so I started drawing circles on his chest with my finger-tips (we convinced him to take off his shirt earlier). Me and Ricky kinda passed out, so Kayla got up and shut off the tv when the movie was over before waking us up. I wasn't really asleep, just warm and comfortable and out-of-it. He was reluctant to let me go to get up, but we all had to sleep in separate spots for Lauren's mom to let us sleep over again.
Ricky got the chair, Kayla got the floor, and I got the big couch. Before we all got curled up, we got on the topic of Rick's body (a hot topic that night...) and me and Kayla both felt his abs (VERY nice). I gave Ricky a hug and a kiss on the forehead, jokingly acting like his mom tucking him in.
I got comfortable on the couch and Kayla tucked me in, giving me a hug, then going over to Ricky to give him a hug too. I heard a smack that I thought was Kayla kissing Ricky's forehead too, but then I found out that she actually kissed him on the lips.
I was shocked (to say the least) when she told me this... she cheated on Jay!!! I never thought I'd see it - especially with a boy that is so clearly a douchebag (a very sexy douchebag, but a douchebag nonetheless)
Morning was uneventful - but we had bacon and waffles =]
I don't remember the exact dates, but another night, Kayla, Lauren, Ricky and I went bowling at Sabre (me making use of my discount for the first time). Everything was going great - until Kayla got sad. She left the lane and started talking to Brooke at Funzi's, Ricky later informed me and Lauren that she started talking to him about her depression - she doesn't understand that not everyone can handle that. Rick said he wouldn't deal with that and I understand that its a lot to handle, she doesn't. After we finished our games (me, Lauren and Ricky took turns bowling for Kayla) she walked out ten feet ahead of us, and started to walk home. They basically told me to go handle it because I know her best. I caught up to her, and calmed her down, we're not going to get into everything she was crying about, but basically, I didn't understand how what she was talking about was relevant now when the events happened like a year ago. I got her convinced to let Rick drive us all back to my house and me her and Lauren could hang out and talk there. (Made up the excuse that Ricky had to go home, which was a lie, I wanted him to stay, but not with Kayla like that)
We talked for hours, I ended up breaking up with Justin over the phone that night, and Lauren has so many more reasons to be more depressed than Kayla, but yet she chooses to move on and just be unfailingly happy, and that's what I love about her.
Fast-forward a week to the following Saturday. I get a text from Kayla around 6ish asking me to go to a party at her boyfriends house. I'm a little disappointed on his event planning skills because I had to work the next day and therefore couldn't drink much because I had to drive home and having a hang-over at a bowling alley SUCKS. I only remembered a couple people there, but they incorporated me like an old friend, that's why I love fires/parties at Jays =] he's going to burn off his nuts someday from trying to jump over the fire and missing.
I decided that Cherry UV tastes like cough syrup and is therefore disgusting on it's own. I mixed it with Sierra Mist at first and that was alright, but then I mixed it with Mountain Dew, which made it taste like Code Red, delish =] I only had those 2 drinks the whole 3ish hours I was there (minus the half-shot of straight up UV) so I was completely sober.
Broke out the hookah and I tried it for the first time, passion-fruit flavored, it was actually really good and really smooth, but I'm prreeetttttyy sure that it is the cause of me getting sick, with at least seven or eight different people using it, one of them was probably sick.
Then I met this guy. Me and Kayla talked to him a little bit when we got there, but not much the rest of the night, but I didn't even know his name at that point. He sat on a chair next to the bench me and Kayla were sitting on near the hookah and the UV and then we really started talking. I found out his name is Chad and we started talking about anything and everything, he was just so easy to talk to, I felt like I knew this kid for years. I thought he was like 18 - 19 tops with the topics we were discussing, the way he acted and the way he looked... but then he started talking about his time at an Air Force base in Texas... it turns out that he is 22.
Why me? I would be so happy right now to have found someone like him, if it wasn't borderline illegal for me to just hang-out with him. We traded numbers that night, he became good friends with Kayla too.
I made it home fine, work sucked. Went to A&W with Kayla and Parker one random night and met up with Chad there. Parker imitated everything that he did, it was crazy adorable!!! I wish I had a camera. On a random side-note, Parker is growing so fast!! I love that little kid.
Me and Chad started texting more and more, then one night when I was bored and couldn't sleep I taught him how to play "The Question Game" mainly because I wanted to learn more about him with little effort.
Kayla picked him up to come over to my house for my massive movie night on the 12th (I told him that my folks flipped a tit when I started dating Justin because of the age difference, and that I just wanted to save myself some headaches, so he wore his old Little Chute High soccer jacket and I told him that if my parents asked, he was 18 or 19... he could pull if off), I layed on him and Dylan for most of the movies until he moved to get a massage from Kayla the "Kayla-special-head-massage" that I will go into more detail about later. He was really comfortable too =[ I dropped off Baobi first afterwards, then he helped me get to Paige's dad's because I don't know my way around Little Chute and he grew up there. I had to take him to his friends way across town by the mall. We got on the topic of dating and age-gaps, we both agreed that gaps like ours (as an example) you just don't mess with because of the legal shit. The entire time I was just convincing myself there is no way he was even the slightest bit interested Twenty-two and Seventeen... we wouldn't be on this topic if he was, right? I was positive that it was going to be the last time I saw him, just to make things less complicated, there isn't even a way that it was a good idea for us to even hang out. I gave him a quick hug, then drove home.
He texted me later that night saying that he hoped that bringing up that subject didn't "fuck things up to bad" but he felt it was necessary to talk about if he was going to continue hanging out with me and Kay just because that a 5 year age gap at this point in life is socially unacceptable.
We ended up setting up another movie night for Sunday (the 19th) after I got out of work.
Several problems arose.
1) I had Kayla yell at me already for talking to this kid. I was talking about the joys of being single and able to flirt with whoever I want again, to which she responded "That's YOUR AGE!" a hint that I clearly said "back off, now." She didn't even know about the movie night we planned.
2) I had to lie to my parents, saying that I was going to Kayla's
3) I had to lie to Kayla, saying I just stayed home
Sunday rolled around, I got off of work way early because nobody was there, watched the Packer game, waited for his text saying that he was home (he was at a Packer party) then drove to his temporary apartment in the complex right by the old Copps. He had picked up four movies (The Bank Job, The Prince of Persia, Kick-Ass, and She's Out of My League) for me to chose from (I gave him a general idea of the movies I liked then made him choose)
I chose Prince of Persia because I had been told several times that i needed to see this movie. We talked a little during it and just chilled on the EXTREMELY comfortable couch. It was about a third through, after we had settled into a comfortable silence before he spoke up and said "you still like cuddling, don't you?" I had revealed my love of cuddling, romantic or platonic, in a round of The Question Game. I got comfortable on his shoulder with an arm around his waist and he had an arm wrapped around me.
Another third into the movie and I had to sit up because my neck was getting sore, he offered to just grab a pillow and we could lay down, we did. He was lightly massaging my shoulder and neck during the last bit of the movie and I drew circles on his arm kinda absentmindedly, I didn't really notice I was doing it at first.
Near the end of the movie, his cousin stopped by, and jokingly "flipped out" doing things like asking "what is going on in here," "Why are the lights off??" (<it was light out when we started the movie) and declaring a "pants-check" because we were under a blanket. He just stopped by to pick up Prince of Persia which ended a couple minutes after he got there.
We put in Kick-Ass after he left. I curled into his chest as the movie was rolling the opening previews, content with my forehead against his neck.

I bet you know what's coming, huh?

He tilted his head down a bit so his nose was almost touching mine, I lifted my chin up a little more, and we kissed. Just a couple short and sweet pecks that left us both smiling ear-to-ear. I turned around and watched most of the movie, we stole a couple kisses through out it, until near the end, we had both kinda lost interest in the movie and started making out. We threw in She's Out of My League after that and didn't pay much attention to it at all. We made out through basically the entire movie, just stopping at a couple of our favorite parts. I've never made-out with someone for like 3 hours straight without getting bored. I had a few red spots on my neck after that were (thankfully) gone by the time I made it home. My lips were tired and had that numb feeling that you usually get after you've been out in the cold for too long and he texted me after that his jaw was a bit sore.
So after all the talk about how you don't mess with an age gap like ours, we end up making out at his apartment... I think that discussion in the car was him trying to convince himself that this wasn't right just like I was.
It does weird me out when I think about it, that Justin was a year and a half older than me and then I picture his older brother who is 21, then realizing that Chad is older than that... it's creepy, so I try not to think about it.
I know that there is no good way this could end, either Kayla calls me out on it, or my parents figure it out and I'll be grounded until I'm 22. But whatever happens, I don't really care, I don't regret it at all and am really looking forward to the next time I see him.

AAAANNDD now you're caught up on major events, now I have some choice words for a few people.

Dylan S - Today you commented on the fact that I give people hugs when I see them and when I leave, no matter how soon we'll see each other again or w/e. From now on you don't get hugs unless you ask for them, not just holding out your arms expecting one because apparently it annoys you and you're just used to it or something and endure it. "Brittney, can I have a hug, please?" I'll have to hear you say it. WITH  the 'please'. you have no idea how much that pissed me off.

Lincoln - I hope that by now you realize how much it hurts to be completely ignored by a person that said that they'd always be there for you while they continue talking to your friends. Come up to me in person, say "Brittney, I'm sorry" and mean it, and it'll be like nothing ever happened, I promise.

Ricky - You're a few tacos short of a fiesta, if you know what I mean ;] but you're just fun to be around. Just stop flaking on me >.< if you wanna hang out again like you claim you do, make an effort.

Chad - WHY can't you be three years younger?? This would be so much easier, I don't want to keep lying to everyone, but if it's what I have to do to hang out with you, then I guess it's worth it. I just really hope you're as good of a guy as I want to believe you are... I'm so sick of let downs... and I really don't think I could handle another guy choosing her over me... but I shouldn't even be talking this way, because it can never work out anyway, 22 -17, it's impossible.    I'm just so... lost.

Before we get to Kayla, I have to explain something. Kayla gives the "kayla-special-head-massage" to guys and she knows that it literally puts them in a trance because it feels amazing. I know that she knows this, I just don't know why she does it. I know that the only reason she is still with Jay is because she's been with him for so long that she's scared to be without him, SHE FUCKING KISSED RICKY!! Who knows if she's cheated other times? She's the one that always talked about how much she hates cheaters and shit... if you can cheat on the person and not be eaten alive by the guilt, then you're not meant to be, simple. She tells me that I shouldn't hang out with Chad cause of the age thing, but GUESS WHO is texting him more than me and telling him he should go out to lunch with her sometime?? Now,

Kayla - You tell me that I shouldn't hang out with Chad cause of the age thing, but then YOU text him more than me and tell him he should go out to lunch with you sometime? You have a boyfriend, either stop this bullshit where you hit on guys I like when you ALREADY have a boyfriend or break up with him and then go right ahead. I guess you don't care enough about other people to lay off when your friend likes someone. You've done this before and you're doing this again and I HATE it because when guys compare you to me, you win hands down, especially with the head-massage on your side... I'm tired of feeling like I don't have a chance with anyone because as soon as they meet you, my supposed best friend, you make them fall for you and then they just forget about me. It happened with Brandon R, and it happened with JK, and that was before you used the massage, now I don't even have a fighting chance.

Dylan J - In total, this post is 3,497 words or 5 full single-spaced microsoft word pages long. Including all the text below and what you're reading right now. That's why this took me forever to post.

Secret #18:: I often wonder if people get tired of me.  Like I'm some book that they get tired of reading.

Secret#50:: I try to explain my thoughts or the way I feel to people and all I get is "wow, you're an idiot." Is it really too much for someone to say "though I may not totally understand, I'll always be here for you."?

Secret#51:: He tastes like you, only sweeter.

Secret#52:: I truly feel that a boy in their right mind will choose her over me, no contest, every time... and when I think about that I lose the confidence that guys like, while hers never falters for a second.